Missed Connections
by Stary-dragonlover
Summary: "As I watched your group they seemed to engulf you in their conversation and soon you were laughing with them and your violet eyes were so unique that i could not help but to stop when i saw them. " In the years after war one Duo Maxwell attempts to find love and who what he wants to do. With a little meddling from a few friends Duo finds that connection he thought he never could.


The computer's dull buzz, other than the faint dripping of the kitchen faucet, was the only sound in the room apart. The long haired male noted with a faint feeling of irritation as he pulled back from where he was seated. His shoulders hunched forward in his chair, studying the computer screen intently. Violet eyes blinking tiredly against the dim light as pale fingers ran through chocolate bangs. With yet another sight Duo Maxwell leaned all the way back in his seat, letting out a faint groan as he felt his shoulders crack as he rolled them back to counter the position they had been trapped in for the last four hours.

With this knowledge Duo chose that moment to take an obviously much needed break. Pushing his chair back Duo yawned as he pulled his attention entirely from the image he'd been working on finishing. Something he had chosen to pursue lately as one of his most recent working professions. Duo had discovered not to long ago that he had a knack for graphic designing. A discovery made when the logo he had made for Hilde's band had gone viral, the band getting compliments and questions in quite a few of their interviews. Duo had to be grateful that Hilde and her band had taken his request that they not give out his personal information to heart and had instead promoted his facade and the company he attached to it. Of course to anyone that knew him well enough they would understand the personal meaning behind the company name and mascot logo.

After all Shini-Gami was not particularly inventive on his part. Duo had wanted to use the name and to give it a new light from the horrors of the war. The small bat like creature that he had come up with was Logo having become pretty popular in it's own right and it had not been long until his new company had taken off quite successfully.

With a faint grin Duo Maxwell, Aka the Shinigami, god of death, rose to his feet with a grunt of effort after being sat in one place for so long with very little to know movement at all on his part. Stretching his arms over his head Duo felt a small surge of relief as his sore limbs moved and twisted to relieve some of the tension that had taken root in them. Turning his eyes as he pivoted on the spot Duo cast his gaze around the small room that was his living room.

Duo had chosen if not a small apartment, then perhaps simply medium sized place to call his home after the war. Then again Duo found that in recent years he had hardly truly been home all that frequently so he had very little care if the size was smaller than someone with the amount of money he had would normally live in. The place was moderately neat for someone with Duo's temperament, however after the war Duo had found that he did not feel any reason to be overly messy, it just often tended to couple with tiredness and a lack of attention until he had the down time to be home and notice the mess. When he spent a large amount of time in his home he found that it was far neater than when he kept himself busy elsewhere.

The house's furnishings were simple really, Duo had let Quatra help him pick out a nice arrangement back when he had first moved n and had done next to nothing in the way of updating the house decor. Unless you counted that lamp over there in the corner, that was relatively new in comparison to the rest of the furniture in the living room. Duo did however keep his sound system and gaming consuls up to date.

Looking his platinum HD TV over with a sense of delight Duo couldn't help the sense of pride that swelled up in him as he regarded the three consuls he had plugged in below. Sure Duo did not think of himself as one of those gaming geeks. Duo did also enjoy sitting at home on a cold night in winter yelling at the npcs that were trying to drive him off the road, or the monsters that jumped out at him while he was adventuring.

Turning away from the television Duo made his way along to the likewise small and well used kitchen. Pulling out his favorite cup Duo took the time to make a cup of coffee with the remnants of the semi warm liquid before making a fresh pot. Leaning back against the counter to wait Duo enjoyed a few mouthfuls of the luke warm liquid while playing his fingers over the picture he knew was on the side facing away from him.

This cup had been a present on the first Christmas after Mariemaia from Heero and Relena. Duo could remember the trip he had made to Earth for that holiday and the feelings of resentment and bitterness that had washed over him as he had first entered into their home. The place was massive and filled with the finer things that Duo expected of the woman that had once been the queen of earth. Duo had at one point been contemplating stealing the silverware to, one see just how much they were worth and two see the look on Relena's face.

However Heero and Relena's happiness had been so purely genuine that Duo and the others had quickly been unable to help being caught up in their sway. The sincere emotions that the brown haired woman expressed when she spoke with each of them were hard to ignore and even more so for the sake of a grudge. Duo had been hard pressed after a few hours of her honest gratitude to the Gundam pilots as she continued to call them even now, for being there throughout the war for Heero.

It had been her that had come up with the idea for a present for all five of them and she had in fact had a photo of the five of them put onto the coffee cup in each pilot's favorite colour. The photo itself was of the five of them the day after they had blown up their Gundams and they had all been facing the very raw reality that they would now have to live in a world where there was no war. The fear that each of them had been feeling was tangible in those moments and Duo could remember clearly without even having to look at the cup the expressions on the other's faces. They had all been very much like he had been, worried about how to settle into a life with out structure and secrecy. A world without violence and fighting, something none of them except perhaps Quatra had ever really known.

Running his fingers once more over the cup Duo set it down and filled it once more with a new, hot cup of coffee. Abandoning the milk and sugar he had put in the first cup the braided male turned to head once more towards his computer. His mind however this time were filled with thoughts of the others. In all honesty Duo couldn't help but wonder if the cups had not been Relena's way of trying to ensure that all of the pilots remained in each other's lives in some form or other. After all the only one out of the five that did not partake in the dark liquid that was Duo's ambrosia was Wuffei, and even the Chinese pilot drank enough tea to match Duo's caffeine intake ounce for ounce.

Sitting down at his, if not somewhat cluttered desk, Duo perched his cup half haphazardly upon a stack of cds far enough away from the mouse that he felt confident that he shouldn't knock it over as he reached to open his email program this time. Skimming through the new emails he had received in the last few hours. Five junk mails, three quote requests for graphic Designing work and even a few fan letters in regards to his song writing for Hilde's band and Duo had finally narrowed things down to the last three emails.

The first one was from Quatra, the blonde doing much to catch up in one of their frequent emails. The other pilot telling Duo all about his latest project and asking duo all sorts of questions about his work with the graphic designing business. Along with some questions about when Duo would be making his way back to earth for a visit and expressing a sadness that they had not visited in person in over six months. This did bother Duo as well since he, Trowa and Quatra had seen each other quite frequently in the first few years. However as Quatra had built his father's company into a prominent empire the blonde had had more and more commitments that kept him from having too much free time

Through Quatra Duo got to hear all about Trowa and how the banged pilot was doing. Even receiving a few sentences Duo knew for a fact were written by Trowa himself. This was a fact due to the change in flow and terminology from how Quatra always spoke. Duo had long since gotten used to speaking to the two of them as one unit and through one email then two different email conversations. First of all Trowa didn't check emails all that regularly according to Quatra unless he was expecting mail from Heero, and also because the two had been married for two years now.

Well officially, not counting the time that the four pilots, Heero excluded because he had been unable to attend that meet up. Had spent far longer in a local pub on L3 than normal, and had digested way more alcohol then even their higher tolerance had permitted. It had seemed like the most normal development when they had stumbled into a chapel. Quatra had kept the exchanging of vows that had happened that night a secret until he could have an official wedding in the eyes of his family and followers and name Trow his husband properly. Even though they only state their official marriage at two years Duo knew that this winter the two of them would be celebrating their third not second anniversary by touring the newest colony.

The second email came from Wuffei, and like Quatra's was filled with familiar questions and a long since expected insistence that Duo should give up his habitual job jumping and settle in with him as a Preventers. Duo could not fault the chinese pilot for his persistent nagging in regards to joining them. After all Duo knew that to the outside the fact that he jumped from job to job did look disorganized, but it was simply Duo's way of finding what fitted him and what didn't. In fact the Duo didn't find the other's words annoying in the slightest. Actually he was pretty moved by Wuffei's concern for him. Duo knew just what the Preventers meant to Wuffei.

They had offered the Chinese pilot a place to go when he was unsure what to do with himself. In a way the preventers, like Duo running to space, had been his fall back. The way in which he had found his place in the world and come to grips with who he was as a person. In the time since Wuffei had joined the preventers and begun working with Sally Duo had seen a large amount of personal growth in the Pilot and so Duo could only smile gently as he sent back his usual response that while it was not his thing at the moment he would keep it in mind after he was done as a graphic designer and was looking for a new profession. Followed up with the usual questions. How was he and sally? How was the baby? When were the twins due? Did Sally and him want him to come and do a special painted design in the revamped nursery for when the twins were born?

With this email sent off Duo turned to the last email in the inbox. This was the one he had been waiting for the last few days and it was in fact one day late. This was Heero's quarter yearly follow email that he sent him. Duo opening the email to see the same questions that he had seen ever four months for the last three years. How was he doing? What was he working on now? When was he coming to earth for a visit?

Looking at the email Duo took a moment to finish his coffee before simply responding with his usual questions rather than answering any of Heero's questions. How was Relena and how was it being her boyfriend and body guard? When were he and Relena going to get married? When was Heero going to come visit L2? Duo couldn't help a smile as he sent this email, at least Heero had stopped threatening to kill him at the second question. This would of course open the same old dialogue that they would send back and forth for a time before at last lapsing into silence for another four months.

Sitting back in his seat Duo pulled his now empty cup to himself to study the picture in detail. His eyes studying each face of those staring out of the cup at him with a silent longing. A part of him truly did wish that he and the others were physically closer. The years had seen them go from seeing each other at the very least once every few months, be it here on l2 back when the others would journey out to see him. Or even on one of the other Colonies that the others were already visiting. To once a year at Christmas as it had been for the last two years. The time being their anniversary of the end of the war and their first days as normal civilians, so for this day they always made sure that they would see one another in person.

Closing his eyes as they fell on Heero's face Duo felt tension flare through out his entire body as an image flashed through his mind so fast he could not stop it. Duo sucked in a breathe as he always did as the image of snow falling silently past a window became crystal clear in his mind. The image of Heero standing in nothing but a hospital gown looking up at those silently falling flakes looking very much like the lost child Duo had never been able to picture him being allowed to be. Duo couldn't help but see himself as he broke his most absolute rule, reaching out for the other and feeling him against himself as hot skin touched cold chilled skin. The taste of strawberries and vanilla in his mouth as he felt the gentle delicacy of those soft lips. And then that look of absolute shock that crossed over Heero's face as he pulled back from Duo to look him in the eyes. Followed by the back of that chocolate head as Heero had turned and walked away from Duo without so much as a glance backwards.

Sighing Duo placed the cup on the table and reached up to rub his temples tiredly as he let his head fall back against the chair's head rest. That was one thing the other pilots did not know. The real reason for Duo's running into the cold recesses of space was not entirely to do with the fact that he had no idea what he should do with his life. It had a lot to do with the fact that he had been unable to handle the reality of that one brief moment in which he had held Heero to himself and felt Heero hold him with the same amount of desperation. Duo had tasted the heated passion that came from Heero as he had kissed him back and felt the passion that the other had pushed into every inch of that contact. Only to have the other reject him so entirely. The wound tearing his already raw and aching heart and soul had driven Duo to escape by putting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

Shaking his head Duo saved his work on the artwork he had been mulling over earlier in the evening and then booted his computer off. Putting his cup away and walking towards his room to head to bed for the night.

* * *

"Oh come on it's hilarious" Duo groaned as he heard Hilde prattling on about this new "fun hobby" her and her band mate, though Duo highly suspected she coupled as Hilde's girlfriend from the way they acted on stage and off, had discovered.

The fact that the braided pilot had been trapped on the shuttle with them for the last three hours listening to them go on about how funny it was to poke into someone else messages to people they had seen or bumped into, or even spoken to in passing and had not received their numbers. These messages sent out in hopes that the person they had met would see them and respond to them in turn and that they could go from there was pretty far fetched. Add into the mix a pair of young women who wanted to read through them for amusement and Duo couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"If i read one of them will you get off my damn back?" Duo found himself finally grumbling after another half an hour. Which seemed to delight the two as they squealed a "yes" as they scrambled to shove their laptop towards Duo.

Pulling himself up from where he had been half laying over the arm of the empty chair beside him Duo sat up and accepted the lap top before scrolling through the listing. Hearing Hilde's insistence that it was more fun to read the comments about places they were in or just had been in Duo rolled his eyes once again and started searching for the ones that had the L2 Shuttle docks in the title. Surprisingly there were a few of them to choose from. He was almost about to tell the two that this was stupid when he stopped, the cursor having landed on one that caught his attention.

"The braided young man"

Oh come on seriously that could be anyone. It was probably some creepy guy that was talking about some hot teenage girl that had been coming off one of the shuttles earlier that day. But what the hell it would get Hilde off his back right? With this in mind Duo clicked the title and watched the next page load up.

When it did he let his eyes scan the post and he felt his jaw drop slightly. Instead of the creepy posting about some hot teen girl with huge boobs and a short mini skirt that some guy wanted to do that Duo had been expecting this was something entirely different.

To the Braided young man,

I saw you sitting there among your friends waiting for the shuttle about an hour ago. I believe they are someone important as the girl with the cropped hair nearest to you seems familiar to me. However their air of popularity was totaly washed away when i saw you with them. I could tell that they were with you despite the fact that the five of them had their backs to you at first by the way you would occasionally glance to them and smirk at something they said. I was coming back from a business trip when i saw you. As I watched your group they seemed to engulf you in their conversation and soon you were laughing with them and your violet eyes were so unique that i could not help but to stop when i saw them. I could not help but to feel an attraction to you in that moment and in the ones that followed as i will admit that i watched you and your group of friends as you were called to board your shuttle. I hope that your trip from L2 is not a long one since it is my sincere hope that maybe then we can run into one another again. I would very much like to speak with you.

I doubt you are the type to actually read these things however a friend of mine has been pressuring me to look into looking into this site, and i have seen some success among people who have used this service. If you have by chance read this and want to speak with one another please feel free to contact me.

The man with the dark hair and blue eyes...

Duo stared at the post dumbfounded, his jaw hanging somewhat down in his state of shock. Not only had this person written a pretty none perverted post, they had also written it to him. Duo played over the faces of the people that had been in the shuttle bay on L2 frantically trying to figure out who this person could be. He could vaguely remember seeing a few people that might match the description the man had left of himself. Dark hair and blue eyes was not actually uncommon these days, after all the gene that had blue eyes was prominent in the L2 colany and with the addition of others from the frequency of visitors to the now economically growing colany came the aforementioned dark hair colour.

In all honesty Duo was left sitting there in silence for so long it drew the attention of Hilde as she leaned forward. Giggling a little and asking Duo if he had found a juicy one or something. He didn't need to look at her to know that the girl's eyes widened a fraction as she finished reading the post and that she turned to look at him more seriously.

"Wow...it's actually a post about you!"

Duo couldn't help but to wince as this made the others' attentions turn on him as the four of them scrambled to steal the laptop from him. Duo watched half heatedly annoyed as they crowded around the computer to read before as a group looking up at him. Duo could see their mixture of surprise and amusement in the combination of smirks and stunned looks before he had Hilde pressing the laptop back into his hands.

" Oh my god you should totally message him back!"

Duo blinked at her this time truly taking a moment to study his friend's face as she looked at him almost to eagerly. Her eyes were glowing and she seemed down right excited as she stared back at him pressing the laptop towards him again when he hadn't reached forward to accept it. Her gesture to take the computer prompting him to do so, however he simply rested it on his lap as he continued to stare back at her.

" Why in god's name would I do that Hilde? " Duo asked as he finally dropped his gaze to the computer. A faint frown spreading over his face as it appeared one of the others had already clicked the link that would pull up a direct email to the guy.

"Well, you know because he took the time to write about you! Isn't that romantic? Oh come on Duo you've been saying you would try dating for months now but you've never actually gone on any dates."

Duo cringed at the way the dark haired woman could butcher his name when she whined. It became a drawn out "Duoooooo" much to the ex shinigami's horror. He also felt a flinch of regret at ever having made that promise. It had been a weak moment on his birthday when they had all gone out drinking and for once Duo had partaken in the drink and found himself thoroughly drunk.

Duo could clearly remember how he had ended up head in the toilet at one of Hilde's band mate's places. The dark haired girl holding his hair out of his way and rubbing his back teasing him that for an ex Gundam pilot he couldn't hold his liquor. The fact that he had probably drank more than any of them combined had been lost on the drunk girl. When he had at last stopped dry heaving he had fallen into Hilde's welcome hug and let her rock him slightly, for once actually allowing such a show of weakness on his part.

After all this was Hilde, a woman as close to him as Sister Helen had ever been. Sure right after the war the two of them had tried to be a couple, right after Duo had run to Space to get away from Heero and his rejection. The two of them however had found out quite quickly that although they loved each other very much there was absolutely nothing sexual in that affection what so ever. Since then Duo had thought of her as the sister he'd never had.

So it had been easy to lean on her when he had been so sick and so drunk and cry to her gently, something he would never normally do even with Hilde, about what had happened. About just how much he had wanted Heero through the war, how much he had come to love the other pilot and how he had turned him down. Not only that, how thoroughly he had shut him out after the realization of Duo's feelings had been made known.

Duo had sworn that night that he would finally get over Heero Yuy, that he would at long last search out love that would take his breath away and make him forget all about the perfect soldier. Of course the next day Duo had woken with one hell of a hang over and a clear image of making that promise and had felt sick to his stomach for having said those words. No one in all of the collonies or earth united sphere could ever make him forget that all encompassing feeling of need he had felt when he had held Heero in his arms for so short a moment.

"No Hilde. No. I said I would read one of these stupid posts and you promised me that would be the end of it."

With a faint grunt of irritation as she whined his name again he closed the email window and shut the laptop as he passed it back to her. Pulling on his headphones as was his way of telling her that the conversation was thoroughly closed. Duo could feel Hilde's eyes on him even as he threw himself entirely into writing the newest song for Hilde and her band for their performance they were currently flying to.

* * *

AN: Hi everyone. I hope you enjoyed this story. I am hoping to get back into writing after a move, crazy work and another five months of working with the Cancer society volunteering. I have found myself wanting to write again and I had this from before I moved. I had been waiting on a beta reader to get back to me with corrections but unfortunately I never heard anything from them. Oh well i have read through it a few times and hope that i got the worst of the problems.

Please be patient with me as I get my groove back and start working on my on going stories as I definitely want to finish those.


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